“Struggling towards [the] harmonious whole” -Wallace Stevens
As much as I love the symbolism of Spring, I try not to romanticize it too much. Sure, I love that initial burst of fragrant, colorful, flowering trees and buds pushing themselves up to meet the light of the sun. But I know that tics, allergies, and kudzu vines are also springing to life. The robin’s nest in the tree outside my door is sweet, but the one being built in the roof’s gutter is destructive. Green is the color of both life and overgrowth; both honey and swarms.
If Spring symbolizes new beginnings, it’s important to be equally inspired by by the holy mess of it…and know that tending to the vines that threaten to overtake the fence is just as important as stopping to pick the flowers from the weeds.
In other words, it’s entirely possible that feelings of new possibility are overgrown with feelings of self-sabotage.
What to do? Be gentle with yourself! Tend to the weeds, but don’t expect them to disappear entirely. Rather, integrate them into your life find the momentum to take small steps into your larger goals.
I’ve thought a lot about self-sabotage…here’s a blog post I wrote a few years ago. And if you’re interested in my self-sabotage worksheets, email me and I’ll send them to you. You can actually learn a lot from feeling defeated….and find blooming things, even there.